Nerak

Godammit! I just got off the phone with one of my bestest friends Nerak. I have been a really bad friend and not really been in touch for about 6 months and good grief did she have some news. Her good friend the Little Bitch whom she has known for over 15 years tried to commit her. Yes, you read that right. And – nearly succeeded. It is certainly true that Nerak is the possessor of ‘a beautiful mind’ and has had mental health issues in the past. About ten years ago when we were living together at art college, in fact. Which is a story for another day. But you don’t try and commit one of your oldest and best friends because you have a crush on her boyfriend. Good God no, you don’t.

Due to the vagaries of my father’s jobs and my education I went to high school in California and then the art school on the East Coast. So I have all these fantastic and slightly insane friends peppered all over the US. And I really wish I could see them more often. Especially Nerak, because she is a freak like no other and makes me laugh until the tea squirts out of my nose. And because I really wish I could have rescued her when that Little Bitch was trying to commit her, over a MAN. For fucks sake.

Look, if any of you tarts tries to commit me because you have taken a fancy to FishBoy I will scratch your beady little eyes out. We will arm wrestle for him instead.